This Post Is Dedicated To Logan, Who Shamed Me Into Blogging For You All.

Dear Everyone,
It is quarter after 3. In the morning. I have been sitting on my couch since election day doing nothing but watching MSNBC and clicking, county by county, through all the exit polling the NYT and CNN have to offer. I've spent the last 20 minutes looking for politically-themed applications I can add to my iPod. I have to be at work in 4 hours and I've resigned myself to the fact that, for the second night in a row, watching the continuous loop of Keith-Rachel-Chris that plays on MSNBC between the hours of 5pm and 5am is better than sleeping. If only I could smoke in my apartment everything would be perfect.

Barack Obama is the 44th President. This means we can all shamelessly carry around our copies of The New Yorker, lunch at vegetarian restaurants, and follow it with 10pm steak au poivre dinners. I can dress head to toe in black, talk about Karl Lagerfeld, read Vogue Paris on the Metro...and not as a way of escaping the horrible horrible stench of "conservativism" that has hung like a cloud of sulfuric acid over DC, and I'm sure all of your respective cities, for the last 8 years. No. Now I can be a liberal elitist because I AM a liberal elitist. And President Obama says it's ok to be a liberal elitist, because he's a liberal elitist, too. Finally, we have a President who appreciates that arugula is fucking expensive and who, I'm sure, has spent hours and hours wondering if Sarah Palin isn't secretly an evil genius who is fucking with us all and will one day tear off her face to reveal that she's a chrome robot with a motherboard controlled by John Boehner/Mitch McConnell and explain in an eerily calm voice that this has been a huge ruse by the RNC to fool the electorate into a submissive state of calm in the interest of launching a huge evil, evil, evil plan to win back a majority in Congress........

maybe not the last part.

Regardless, I am fairly certain that if Barack Obama had not been born in a manger and delivered to the United States as its one true savior (theocracy, what?), he would have been exactly like me. And probably you. He would be the one sitting on his couch listening to a playlist of awesomely hip music, reusing his water bottles, laughing at pictures of Sarah Palin wearing a leather jacket, probably getting stoned and captioning LOLcats pictures once a week or so, and maybe, just maybe, building his own chrome android whom he would then disguise as Rahm Emanuel and send to rid the world of idiocy via a grand, sweeping campaign of awesomeness. Kind of like what actually happened except I guess in real life Rahm wasn't inside a robot. Details...

Anyway, I am completely aware that there seems to be absolutely no point to this post, and mostly I am posting because I want you all to remember that we exist even though half of us are on another continent becoming socialists. The point is, I am so happy that I cannot express my happiness in words that don't seem ludicrous. There will never be a president who was born in the 1930s. In the next Presidential election, the Democratic Party will win Arizona. The Republican Party has succeeded in trapping itself in a southern cage. I don't know what this means yet, because I don't think I've even fully absorbed the fact that Barack Obama is actually the president.

Let's start the future. I'm going outside to smoke.

Oui, nous pouvons!